What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
