she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
