she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize