Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
