shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
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She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
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I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize