I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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