with your own penis?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
