Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
