He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
