Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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