i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
