This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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