dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
