Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

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(713): View more from Texas

wait, did i just see you litter out your window??

(281): View more from Texas

umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.

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(209): View more from California

i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

well i fucked her too, so yes.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.

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(940): View more from Texas

Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.

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(619): View more from California

You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?

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