Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.