You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
