I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
