I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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