$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
