if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
my poor anus
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
