I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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