It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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