The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
