did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
