Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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