Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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