Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
