I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
