she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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