I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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