i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
