I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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