If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
