I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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