I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
