Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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