there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
