i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
