shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I supernannyed him into submission
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
