I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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