We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
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How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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