Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
