Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
