my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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