His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize