I just saw a hot homeless man
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
