Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
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She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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