A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
