oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
