Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
