I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize