Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
