so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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