Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
