I'm going to jail i love you
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
