i was rollin on her like bob the builder
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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