Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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