On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
