He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
