If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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