I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
