Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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